New year and New me!

Well here I am back on my blog after 2 years, is giving me mixed feeling – guilt is more than excitement. I have tried to resume blogging in 2014 and even started writing a post during second week of Jan, which goes like this –

Coming back on my blog after more than year  – Oh my gosh where the time flies? It’s a mixed feeling – guilty as well as excited. Life has always been super busy for me, a year came and gone and so much happened which I think would take another post to put in words. First thing first, we are blessed with a baby boy 🙂 can proudly say that we have a complete family now. Next big news is Reva started school – can’t believe my eyes when I was dropping her off to school on the first day. She was so excited and thrilled to be the part of the big school. Serioulsy, why kids grows so fast. Before writing this post, I was scrolling down my old posts and they were mostly about Reva’s growing up but now I have another pumpkin who is two and a half month old already [sniff][sniff]

After experiencing motherhood second time, I feel different (in a good way of course). I want to resume my me-time which was kinda lost in a day-to-day hush-hush. And my blog top the list. To be honest blog defines myself. Through writing I priorities things I love and family. So I have decided to write at least twice in a month, will write about following things which I love the most –
1. Family
2. Crochet/Knitting
3. Cooking
4. Music

As you can see the there is commonality in both the posts while I was writing them – feeling! and what to say about me-time…. thanks to my iPhone who has enough resources to keep me entertained while I lie down with my kids after 8 PM in the bed with my headphones on.

Speaking of feeling – This year I have decided to follow a routine to chose a word of the year (inspired by Claire Diaz-Ortiz) and which is HAPPY. Being happy is the most important thing in our life – I know it is cliché to say but over the time I have realised that happiness is like an engine oil to our system. It makes your life smooth, removes the whining and sighing noises, makes you more vibrant and full of positive energy which you need at the first instance when you are a working mum of two, living abroad with no options of quick helps and workarounds. so take a break and smile for a sec 🙂

Now moving on to my greatest news in the above draft post has turned 14 months and walking like a pro! Reva and Viraj are doing really great. Thanks a ton to the Almighty for giving me such a  beautiful family  – feeling really blessed and happy!

After mixed bag of 2013 and 2014, I am really looking forward for year 2015. Hoping to have lots of positive energy, happiness and love.

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The Wonderful Idea

The wonderful idea about my next topic for the blog crossed my mind when I was driving to the office and in all excitement I even selected the topic – Me, the Wanderer [sounds pretty fancy to me!]. To me wanderer means traveller but to confirm the meaning I quickly Googled and found –

Web definitions: someone who leads a wandering unsettled life.

Right, so not much of traveller then! I would like to make myself clear before I dig more into this ‘wanderer’ in the post, my life is pretty settled and I have no intention of pressing undo button in this regards. But at the same time I do want to confess that I have wandering unsettled ‘thoughts’. I know everyone has them but I think I have 100 times more than the normal person’s quota and I have very strong facts to prove it!!

Wandering thoughts can sometime be really unsettling but occasionally have the ability to make wish come true. When I was growing up these thoughts would act as my driving force. If I liked or was inspired by something I would immerse myself in it and my wandering thoughts would help me to do the best so that I can achieve what my heart wants. They would build a little world for me where that subject was all mine. If it were an object then I would be cherishing and holding it in my world feeling very proud, satisfied and happy. But if my desire was a non-object  for example if I wanted to score a certain percentage in the class [yeah I am the sort of person who always likes to maintain a certain level for myself in almost everything – and never fall below that, always on the top!] then these thoughts would make a world where I could see myself happily dancing after the results were out as I had scored my desired percentage, my parents are looking all happy, my sister is giving me usual look, my friends all jealous and looking at me with surprise and thinking – Oh my God how brilliant and hardworking girl she is!

I would make a blueprint of my dream which would be followed by a robust road map and that would take some time to finish as it would require lots of dreaming and thinking of achievement. My experience says, if you really want to achieve what you desire then you need to just think about it all the time. I don’t know how many of you are you aware of a children show called ‘Peppa Pig’ – Reva loves it and at some time I love it too. Very silly show which revolves around Peppa, shown as young female pig, her family and friends. Each of her friends is a different species of animals. Peppa and her family loves jumping up and down in muddy puddles. And once there is a championship of puddle jumping and Peppa’s daddy takes part. Peppa asks daddy how he is going to practice for the jump and he replied that he is going to sleep and dream all about the puddle. On the day of competition, daddy pig is all ready for the jump. Peppa asked her daddy again – what are you going to do now Daddy? Daddy says ‘To become the champion I must become one with the puddle’ and then he jumped. He made such a jump that the muddy puddles went all over crowd and left no signs of it on the ground. Daddy pig is declared as the champion of the puddle jump. Moral of the story is to achieve something you have to first absorb it in the soul. .

But then there comes time when you are at the saturation point, you have achieved almost everything you ever dreamt for, no desire left for any fancy objects and just want to live your life as it comes. In a way you fired your wanderer thoughts and hired the wander-less ones. They have nothing to do, they have been working very hard for all those years in the past for you and suddenly they are jobless. But idle mind is devil’s workshop. And  when all the thoughts in the mind are wander-less and have nothing to work upon  – they start to pick negativity. They start to make a mesh of complicated thoughts that you ever came across and then things gets even more complicated. You start losing your faith, patience and above all positivity. I have been experiencing this negativity in past [fingers crossed] and as a result had quite a lot of trouble lately. Well I am not here to give excuses and would rather stick to the reality. I had a burst which tormented me to the bottom of my soul and I finally came to conclusion that blaming all the stress on work, travel, taking care of kid, husband and home won’t work. Time to revisit my beliefs and roots – to accomplish them all I need is positive energy.

In my last post I told you that I am reading this book on Positive Thinking, I am not just reading it but also trying to practice all the methods book has mentioned to restore the positive attitude. One of the lessons is to negate negative thought by positive thought. Looks simple but believe me it is not – when your mind is tired and used to negativity, thinking positive takes a lot of effort. The most annoying habit of mine is I think too much, I think and think and make a sort of imaginary world around myself. I will give you a small example – I took Reva to see the doctor and at the reception I gave my documents to let them know that my address has been changed. I got my driving license with me for proof and then told the lady over the counter to change my husband’s address too. She took the form which I filled in and DL to take the copy, and when she came back to return them she said ‘you know you should have brought bank statement or leasing document which has both you and your husband’s name on it. What if your husband is not living with you or in future if that happens’ – I was quite offended by that and in fumes I replied if that would have been the case I wouldn’t bother to touch his documentation. As I have got sick child with me so I just took my DL with me and left. But those words kept lingering my mind. Left me thinking I should have said more like ‘how dare you ask questions like that’ or ‘you should have told me in first place or mentioned that in the form that please bring your own address proof irrespective of the fact that you are family or not!!’ I was so annoyed by that comment all day long and spend all of my energy thinking what I’d missed to say. This was just a small trailer, so you can see my chain reactions to a stranger’s passing comments – just multiply it by 100 times when more serious things happen. I wasted all my time and energy thinking what should I have said or done instead of leaving that subject as it is and move on. When I began reading the book in first chapter I came to conclusion that I can’t Forget and Forgive which is the key of happy living. I need to stop living on grudges and forget everything which made me sad in the past.
An idea came to me when I was driving today – instead of thinking of subjects which drive me mad why I don’t try to think interesting stories with the help of my wandering thoughts and offer them a new job. Like this post – all thanks to my wandering thoughts which planted this idea in my head. But true driving engine of this post was a little fiction story which popped into my head when I took the motorway to work. Last night my father in law was asking Vishal about my drive – how far is the office, is there any highway to reach there, what is the drive time, how is the traffic and all that stuff. I was thinking to plan a visit for all of them to my office today but then left it as there is not point of taking 3-4 hours trip just to visit my office. But then I kept thinking about it and was imagining the drive and telling them about all the junctions- which one is the busiest one, which one is prone for traffics and we reached our office which is situated on the most beautiful location. We all get down near to the hill which is just on the entrance. Reva started running on the trail which goes to the farm side. Vishal is on the camera and my in laws are all standing there and praising the location and the office. And to my surprise Mr CEO is also taking walk on the trail and joined us asking ‘how are you and what makes you come up here’ [please don’t laugh on my very optimistic dream], he meets with everyone and praises me and my department’s work [you know I send a report every Monday directly to the CEO and always wish to have reply back from him]. After meeting us he took his leave with a big smile on his face. We then headed back to our home and took a quick stop over at nearby service station.

When I was out of my dreamland, I was left with a big smile on my face which remained all through the day. Then it occurred to me why don’t I stick to this habit of dreaming all the good stuff and earn a smile a day 🙂

It is Ready!!

Reva’s crochet dress is ready. I’m really rather pleased with how it’s turned out. So is Reva – she loved her new dress and wanted to show all her friends in her nursery 🙂

Aah! [big pleasure-sigh]

Three Things

Flowers are blooming in my house which I bought them last week – still quite fresh and colourful. Winter has done knocking and now slowly slowly entering in our lives and preparing to make it gloomy for next 6 months or so. As the winter crawl over I would start to bring more colourful flowers to coverup outside greys.

The other two things of mine are long-awaited to do things – Crochet and Reading. Yes I am back to my hook and a book.

About crochet –  I was missing it badly and it has been over a year since I last touched it here. I was so tempted to order new colourful yarn inspired by Lucy, but then I decided to clear up my old pile and then jump to new yarns. I really miss my crochet and touch of yarns and the time where its me and two of them. True bliss to see how a pattern come out from a simple thread with the help of a simple hook – absolute bliss 🙂 This time I am making granny inspired dress for Reva – cant wait to see how it will turn out [ so excited] !!

Books: More than a year since I have read my last book (The Lost Symbol). I was so dying to go back to reading again. And it was just not the hobby but my desire to give some peace of mind through reading which motivated me to pick a book. A friend of mine in office gave me a girly book which was perfect start and there is another one I got yesterday from Amazon order, also recommended to me from one my dear friend. It is about positive thinking and I just completed chapter one – loved it. As the title describes that it is all about thinking positive but the thought that hit me most is about praying – yes prayer is ultimate solution to all the problems. Bigger the problem, the bigger prayer should be – so correct! In this fast and busy life I have absolutely stopped praying and started feeling that I am the most sorry person in the whole world but now I know. Really thankful to my friend for pointing me to right book.

Thank you God for giving back my three things 🙂

Chance of a Beach

Went to Bournemouth for a day visit with my team mates week back. It was a Team outing and glad I joined. You see this isn’t about myself or team, this is about the perfect weather and place which made the trip totally worth spending 5 hours on the road that day. We have been in UK for almost 2 years and before that we were in San José and both the places are famous for their beaches – like California is related to Malibu beach and UK with Cornwall, Dorset, Bournemouth and other famous and beautiful south-east beaches. Unfortunately our stars never aligned with proper beach, weather and timing. It was one way or the other – in California the nearest beach to our city was Half Moon way Beach – very beautiful!

But we always had  a misfortune of ending up on the beach with freezing cold gusty wind. Hardly spent 30 mins and had to rush to near by coffee shop to get ourself warm. This wasn’t happened to us one time – it was every single time when we headed to the beach. We had gone back again to half-moon bay another time in proper summer but still had no luck, some friends told us that it was as expected and we should try some 17 mile drive beaches – went there, same gusty cold winds always which gave us headaches. When we went to LA on thanksgiving holidays and had plan to visit Malibu but fate didn’t agreed upon it and had to come back without visiting it.

Last year we went to Brighton –  weather was awesome, sunny no signs of any wind – checked BBC for hour and hour forecast. We were all geared up with proper beach essentials. I had bought castle making thing for Reva and planned my self a lazy lay-down on the beach. Dreaming of walking on the sandy beach with Reva, picking some sea shells with her – maybe have a dip in the water…..

Right, with all excitement we and our close friend family headed towards Brighton. Yep everything was according to plan – we reached there in almost two hours but had no idea about the distance from pier and parking bay so had to park like 1 km away from the beach. That didn’t bother us and we were all excited and happy was to walk. After walking for almost 30 mins – finally had a glimpse of beach started to emerge. People around were looking happy and all beachy. Finally we arrived at the pier and started to look for some place to mark our resting area for rest of the day. All I can see was less sand and more pebble. Thought that particular area is full of pebbles, walked little further from pier, again pebbles and then I worriedly said – why are so many pebbles in this beach – where is the sandy beach??. Then our friend said, oh! you didn’t know Brighton has pebble beach and then I was shattered.

So when we came to know that we are going to the Bournemouth for day out on BEACH, I didn’t hope much but thought of giving it a chance not to the beach but to myself. I had makeup my mind that I will enjoy only with my team mates and didn’t even dreamt of sands at all.

Bournemouth is more than 2 hours drive from my home. We left early for the day so that we would leave early and reach home by usual time. As it was weekday and school was resumed that week so city was very quite. Thought might be a usual city with a usual beach. When we reached at the pier – oh my god it was breath-taking. So beautiful!

Sandy beach with a chair 🙂

I had a most lovely day out on the beach – did whatever I dreamt of but with a catch of missing my family – I missed Reva and Vishal that day so much. When we were having lunch and I had most delicious fish and chips ever, I missed Vishal. I missed Reva when I was picking sea-shells on the beach. I miss my family when I had most amazing ride on big Balloon 😦

It was a splendid day at the beach, have to come back again with family and I am keeping my fingers-crossed this time 🙂

Running !!

Yes I have finally started running. It was long-awaited dream of mine. If you have scrolled my Wish List (which needs to be updated though!), running is on the number one and it took me good time to begin. I always love running whether it was just a competition in the school or off school with friends. Although I tend to win less medals in running but I always enjoy participating in the race. When we moved to abroad I often see people running on pedestrian walks, parks, treadmill and was always amazed by their stamina and admired their discipline. I gained weight and following the trend I joined gym, tried to run on treadmill but it wasn’t any fun anymore which I remembered.

In office I often see my friends colleagues taking break in lunch and go for running. They talk about their mileage and distance, about stamina, signing for this and that event for running. That was really my enlightening about running. Like there is not only Marathon running in the world, it begins with 5K (kilometers), 10K, half marathon and then comes marathon. In my department there are two London marathon runners, and I always looked to them with so respect. I always love the atmosphere of fitness love in my office – always reminded me to what I need to do and make me guilty of not doing anything. This summer my office mates created a running group which runs twice a week. I wished to join them but due to the fact that my commute is so long and have to leave office early so no time of taking break in lunch. But it was as excuse – isn’t?

We moved house a two month back and there is a recreational centre very near to our house with gym, swimming centre, library, tennis court, children park – everything we can wish for. Last month Vishal and me got gym membership and we promise ourselves to spend at least 3 days a week in gym and don’t let our body to get corroded in time – you know we are not getting any younger any day and if we havent started now we wont start ever (I know its hard to think but this is what I needed to boost myself). So we spend good amount on the membership and came back with a promise to start exercise.

Last week I took my first class with instructor and she asked me what is your goal. I was tempted to say to reduce my weight but instead I said I want run 5K. she said fine this is your 90 minutes programme to follow for next 6 weeks. It is all about running and preparing for 5K run.

This is my second week and I am running more than 2 km in 20 minutes. I make sure I get 3 times a week for myself and running and honestly speaking I am so satisfied by myself and really glad that I finally started running 🙂

Most colourful season of the Year!!

Yes its birthday season. August is celebration time at home these days. Well to be honest it starts from 1st day of July till last week of August. I love celebrations – When I was little I always look forward to letters wishing birthday, cards, cakes, yummy foods and above all gifts. Till now feeling is still the same but matured with rooms for adjustments and compromises. I don’t mind if the food is yummy or not (because its down on me mostly) or the gifts to be given on the same day. Things that I assured be on time is birthday card and cake.

I celebrated my 30th Birthday this year and it gave me a bit of a mixed feelings. Pleasure of turning in 30s band and sadness of something – I am sure it is not related to getting older but that I have so much to do and now feels like I have so little time to do all.

 

Apart from hubby and I having quite celebrations (he has the quieter celebrations of all this year as we were moving house that week), Reva celebrated her 3rd birthday. Yes my dear daughter is three now – I can’t believe my senses that she is growing so fast and Vishal is already dreading the thought that she will leave us in some couple of years and never look back :'(. We really celebrated her birthday this year. Decorate the house overnight so that we don’t missed the surprise look on her face first thing in the morning. 

Had Reva’s friends came over on the day and had a bash in her nursery. She loved it all – and I am really amazed to see how well she understand the importance of having celebrations, cake cutting, unwrapping presents and loved to be the centre of attractions. She was so shy during cake cutting –

 

We managed to have a magician came over to the nursery for the kids. She was a very cheery woman and she involved Reva very much. I initially thought that she would be shy but to my surprise she enjoyed every act. She was all dancing and bubbly with the little tricks – from holding on to a wibbly wobbly wand to touching the bunny, she enjoy the show fullest.

 

Oh my!!! my little girl has grown so much. Can’t believe we passed a year already when we celebrated her second birthday day last year.

 

She is so smart and understanding – made me proud very often. I am really glad to have her – sometimes when I am all tired in the end of the day or having a really bad day which often make me cry in the night when putting her to sleep. She would come and say “Mommy are you alright? You are not feeling very well? Dont cry mommy!!” Yeah girls are really gems and I am so glad to have her in my little treasure box. I love you my princess and may this year be the best year of all. God Bless you!