We socialize past weekend.  On saturday we invited some friends for lunch and Sunday we went for lunch. Both are Vishal’s good old buddies. When I came to London I was quite worried about our social life because back in California we didn’t have much to do socially and we didn’t mind. I never regretted in California for not being a social animal because we spent quality time with each other and that’s what we needed the most. Being with little one, every one needs social life, someone to chitter-chatter about kid’s requirements, some distraction for us from our chaotic life. In London I feel the need to have some friends and family around. But there is always a question in front of me about Socializing – do we really need it and to what extent ?.

I thought of this post  Sunday morning when sitting in sunshine [sunshine is my true inspiration of thoughts :D]. I was remembering those times when we kids used to go with our parents in their social gatherings. Usually we have once in a month parties for families. All was going well for little while when we completed primary school but as soon as we hit secondary class all gatherings become some kind of assessments for us. Mostly parents talked about their children’s report cards, minor tests, major tests, exams, preparations, achievements, awards, appreciations, sports activity, routines, discipline, gifts, dresses and many more. Every discussion aimed to prove how well one’s child is doing. Then later at home we were compared to other children, how they study, how well they score marks in maths and science, how well they behave, how they active in study and other curricular activities and many more. So later I stopped going in gatherings and felt better off in the home having fun with my sister and we both left wonder why our parents are not satisfied with our performances. This was my father’s professional side, on our family side we used to go to our close relation’s place and they came to our house. Usually food was to cooked 10-15 people at home, my poor Mom and Aunties. Those days not a single dish was bought from the market, everything cooked at home. Ladies gathered in the kitchen cooking all meals and Gentlemen in living room enjoying the weather, sports, movies or gossips. All the children had their own time-pass. Bonding was so strong that time and now no one wants to see each other’s face.

After two decades everyone is well placed, settled and some raising their kids.  And when I talk or think about gatherings, get-together my childhood memories always came to my mind.  I don’t want such type of socialization. I don’t want my daughter to suffocate in my gatherings. I don’t want to be suffocate in the name of socializing [you know when 2-3 people meet, then other bad stuff also begins like bitching and other stuff] and it makes me reluctant about it [though I love social life].

Our elders says “aajkal toh kisi ko ekdusre se koi matlab hi nahi hai, bagal wale ghar mai kaun rehta hai ye bhi nahi pata”. Actually I never mind it, and it doesn’t mean that we are self-contained neighbours or the others but we respect each other’s privacy too. Living away from our society is truly sad but it gave an opportunity for us to choose our own and understand what we really want.

Our weekend went really nice, meeting old friends, remembering old days and I enjoyed them most because I get to know things about Vishal which is usually came out when old friends meet after a long time. PT bunking in school, a quick brief of hostel life in college – all the hungama they made in canteen, their 10/- per coffee stall in college fair, Music band, FM radio shows. Gathering ended with singing old and new songs on guitar. I liked the way it goes, little one too enjoyed meeting people. In happiness and excitement she lost her appetite and sleep and now she is covering up. Well looking forward for more.


4 thoughts on “Socialising

  1. KKHM

    I am so glad you are enjoying meeting people in London.
    Like you said, you have the benefit of choosing how much to socialize. So enjoy… pick the right kind of people and the amount /context of interactions you want to have with them. Socialization should help us grow as friends / families and turn into battleground for comparisons.

    I completely empathize with your childhood.. I had an uncle who, everytime he came to visit us, would tell me what competitions I should enter in and how the rest of the world is doing so well except for me..! another family friend of my parents would come and fluant about how everything there daugthers touched turned to gold..! needless to say I hated them to the core.. I dont need all that unnecessary pressure in the childhood.. just let me be..

    anyhow, we learn from our mistakes (and from the mistakes others make) and should avoid comminting those same mistakes ourselves. Part of learning and growing.

    By the way, those flowers on your table look lovely.


  2. itsmenmyself

    yup i agree with u and both of us are totally aware of the comparisons we used to undergo. It always amazed me how meticulous people were when comparing there kids. that was really bad but I m still not against socializing and indulge in regular get together with my buddies (almost spanning on every weekends).

    but ya than the same should not forced on to children (anyways kids todays can’t be forced into anything). and about bitching…… its part of life……way to get rid of your bad baggage… can’t be totally avoided……. what is important is whom you do it with……….. and one thing I would like to tell that friends are storehouse of things which will only come out in such gatherings…….. well so watch out for them……

    and till then happy socializing………..

    yours cha


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