Things I hate about Indian Parenting

My daughter was born in USA. She was born two months premature because of my health and kept in Neonatal ICU (NICU) for 30 days. I was floored by the way American treat babies and kids.  Nurses were so educated, warm, caring and soft-spoken. I was amazed to see their care and consideration towards babies. Frankly speaking I haven’t seen such kind of treatment to wards babies and kids at home in India. Then and there I decided I would raise my daughter the way she was treated in NICU for 30 days.

These days I am in India. Where Reva is struggling from heat and teething and I am struggling with people’s comments. Here are things which really catches my nerves:

Please don’t touch my baby or any baby with dirty hands.  Learn some basic hygiene for babies.

I don’t believe in any kind of jinx. Reva was not wearing any locket with black thread in her neck, or bracelets of black pearls in her hands, I just hate those kind of things on little babies. People came by and point out “are tumne is ko kuch nahi pehnaya, nazar lag jayegi. waise hi american hai?”.  WTF!! You don’t believe in basic hygiene but you do believe  in such things, shame on you.

Please stop asking me how I feed her, “aap upar ka dudh pilate hain ya apna ?“. And it was heights of rudeness when a man asked me on flight who was sitting besides me. Its my daughter and I will feed her whatever I want. None of your business.

Don’t raise your eyebrows when I say Formula Milk. You don’t have any idea what I had gone through and how much I tried. Stop judging me!

Cow’s Milk is not the only nutritional source for baby in the world. I am following my doctor’s instructions over yours.  Just so you know ” There are several reasons to delay the introduction of cow’s milk until your baby reaches his first birthday. Most important, a baby’s digestive system can’t digest cow’s milk proteins. Cow’s milk also has too much sodium, potassium, and chloride, which can tax your baby’s kidneys. Even if his system could handle it, cow’s milk doesn’t have all the vitamins and minerals (especially vitamin E, zinc, and iron) that he needs for growth and development in his first year. Giving a baby cow’s milk could even cause iron deficiency and internal bleeding. And it can increase his risk of an allergic reaction.

Kajal.  I don’t like to put kohl in baby’s eyes and I don’t believe any reasons why they are being put in baby’s eyes. Believe me, my granny had put kajal in my eyes for almost 3 years and still my eyes are not big and even has fewer lashes. So putting kajal in baby’s eyes makes them bigger, beautiful and makes vision strong is wrong. They are genetically build and not with the help of kajal. And if it so good then why are eye operations, put kajal.

Same with oil in ear and nose. If some one can guaranteed me that oil is pure and not adulterated with any harmful chemicals I don’t mind using it.

I am disappointed our ways to feed solids to baby. Being an agricultural country we hardly feed any of the grains/vegetables/fruits properly to our baby. My doctor specifically told me that by the time she is 1-year-old she should eat  2 yellow vegetables, 2 green vegetables and 2 fruits. People ask me what you give to her I say puree of – Squash, Carrots, Beans, Peas, Banana, Apple…. They are surprised.  One woman told me “Are ye sab to itna fayda nahi karta,  gay ka dudh pilao ise“. And they say today kids don’t eat vegetables and fruits.

I hate when people here don’t respect newly parents. They think they are the dumbest people on face of the earth. Please they are “Parents”, they are smart enough to know what is best for their child.

All I know is Motherhood/Parenthood doesn’t not mean to suffer. You don’t have to face hard times to raise a child. Its a beautiful journey and let it enjoy. Just use you instinct and nothing else.

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7 thoughts on “Things I hate about Indian Parenting

  1. Tulika S

    Nice you have started writing blogs, its definitely a medium to express your thoughts. I agree that not keeping basic hygiene is a problem with indian parenting but there are some good parts of it as well and I am sure you agree to it 🙂

    Reply
  2. N

    Very good post
    i am also struggling these things now a days
    my mother in law wants to apply lots of kajal in my baby eyes, she was complaining me that iski ankhein choti ho gayi hain kajal nahi lagati., then i was prepared for this question so i promptly said doctor ne bahar ka kajal mana kia hai lagane se, that bahar word had killed me , she said ok we will make it at home and bring it for u. Now i m speech less cant help it.

    Reply
  3. sangeetha menon

    I was about to write this in my blog.. Good that you are against all those mentoned. As a mom and a blogger I am against these too. So I have started ignoring these granny gyans .. better for us right .. lets be stress free

    Reply
  4. Shruti Mittal

    I agree to all the points mentioned. There are many more points which we come across the day we conceive. Being in the modern world, we fight against many of those. But at some point of time, i feel its better to leave it in experienced hands (only for acceptable things like kajal). Its not easy to fight for each and every point. For example, my ped strictly said no about giving gripe water to my baby girl before 6 months (she is also born 2.5 months pre mature). But, my mum advised to give her. And I was happy with the results. She was free from gastric trouble and ate well. I got kajal applied to her eyes once by my mum..baby was ok with it. so i didnt resisted my mother to apply kajal everyday. Though I make sure no one else touches my babie’s eyes. So, i am really at dilemna when any person asks me to stop doing any such myth. So I simply agree to few and not to what i think is not at all suitable.

    Reply

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