The wonderful idea about my next topic for the blog crossed my mind when I was driving to the office and in all excitement I even selected the topic – Me, the Wanderer [sounds pretty fancy to me!]. To me wanderer means traveller but to confirm the meaning I quickly Googled and found -
Web definitions: someone who leads a wandering unsettled life.
Right, so not much of traveller then! I would like to make myself clear before I dig more into this ‘wanderer’ in the post, my life is pretty settled and I have no intention of pressing undo button in this regards. But at the same time I do want to confess that I have wandering unsettled ‘thoughts’. I know everyone has them but I think I have 100 times more than the normal person’s quota and I have very strong facts to prove it!!
Wandering thoughts can sometime be really unsettling but occasionally have the ability to make wish come true. When I was growing up these thoughts would act as my driving force. If I liked or was inspired by something I would immerse myself in it and my wandering thoughts would help me to do the best so that I can achieve what my heart wants. They would build a little world for me where that subject was all mine. If it were an object then I would be cherishing and holding it in my world feeling very proud, satisfied and happy. But if my desire was a non-object for example if I wanted to score a certain percentage in the class [yeah I am the sort of person who always likes to maintain a certain level for myself in almost everything – and never fall below that, always on the top!] then these thoughts would make a world where I could see myself happily dancing after the results were out as I had scored my desired percentage, my parents are looking all happy, my sister is giving me usual look, my friends all jealous and looking at me with surprise and thinking – Oh my God how brilliant and hardworking girl she is!
I would make a blueprint of my dream which would be followed by a robust road map and that would take some time to finish as it would require lots of dreaming and thinking of achievement. My experience says, if you really want to achieve what you desire then you need to just think about it all the time. I don’t know how many of you are you aware of a children show called ‘Peppa Pig’ – Reva loves it and at some time I love it too. Very silly show which revolves around Peppa, shown as young female pig, her family and friends. Each of her friends is a different species of animals. Peppa and her family loves jumping up and down in muddy puddles. And once there is a championship of puddle jumping and Peppa’s daddy takes part. Peppa asks daddy how he is going to practice for the jump and he replied that he is going to sleep and dream all about the puddle. On the day of competition, daddy pig is all ready for the jump. Peppa asked her daddy again – what are you going to do now Daddy? Daddy says ‘To become the champion I must become one with the puddle’ and then he jumped. He made such a jump that the muddy puddles went all over crowd and left no signs of it on the ground. Daddy pig is declared as the champion of the puddle jump. Moral of the story is to achieve something you have to first absorb it in the soul. .
But then there comes time when you are at the saturation point, you have achieved almost everything you ever dreamt for, no desire left for any fancy objects and just want to live your life as it comes. In a way you fired your wanderer thoughts and hired the wander-less ones. They have nothing to do, they have been working very hard for all those years in the past for you and suddenly they are jobless. But idle mind is devil’s workshop. And when all the thoughts in the mind are wander-less and have nothing to work upon - they start to pick negativity. They start to make a mesh of complicated thoughts that you ever came across and then things gets even more complicated. You start losing your faith, patience and above all positivity. I have been experiencing this negativity in past [fingers crossed] and as a result had quite a lot of trouble lately. Well I am not here to give excuses and would rather stick to the reality. I had a burst which tormented me to the bottom of my soul and I finally came to conclusion that blaming all the stress on work, travel, taking care of kid, husband and home won’t work. Time to revisit my beliefs and roots – to accomplish them all I need is positive energy.
In my last post I told you that I am reading this book on Positive Thinking, I am not just reading it but also trying to practice all the methods book has mentioned to restore the positive attitude. One of the lessons is to negate negative thought by positive thought. Looks simple but believe me it is not – when your mind is tired and used to negativity, thinking positive takes a lot of effort. The most annoying habit of mine is I think too much, I think and think and make a sort of imaginary world around myself. I will give you a small example – I took Reva to see the doctor and at the reception I gave my documents to let them know that my address has been changed. I got my driving license with me for proof and then told the lady over the counter to change my husband’s address too. She took the form which I filled in and DL to take the copy, and when she came back to return them she said ‘you know you should have brought bank statement or leasing document which has both you and your husband’s name on it. What if your husband is not living with you or in future if that happens’ – I was quite offended by that and in fumes I replied if that would have been the case I wouldn’t bother to touch his documentation. As I have got sick child with me so I just took my DL with me and left. But those words kept lingering my mind. Left me thinking I should have said more like ‘how dare you ask questions like that’ or ‘you should have told me in first place or mentioned that in the form that please bring your own address proof irrespective of the fact that you are family or not!!’ I was so annoyed by that comment all day long and spend all of my energy thinking what I’d missed to say. This was just a small trailer, so you can see my chain reactions to a stranger’s passing comments – just multiply it by 100 times when more serious things happen. I wasted all my time and energy thinking what should I have said or done instead of leaving that subject as it is and move on. When I began reading the book in first chapter I came to conclusion that I can’t Forget and Forgive which is the key of happy living. I need to stop living on grudges and forget everything which made me sad in the past.
An idea came to me when I was driving today – instead of thinking of subjects which drive me mad why I don’t try to think interesting stories with the help of my wandering thoughts and offer them a new job. Like this post – all thanks to my wandering thoughts which planted this idea in my head. But true driving engine of this post was a little fiction story which popped into my head when I took the motorway to work. Last night my father in law was asking Vishal about my drive – how far is the office, is there any highway to reach there, what is the drive time, how is the traffic and all that stuff. I was thinking to plan a visit for all of them to my office today but then left it as there is not point of taking 3-4 hours trip just to visit my office. But then I kept thinking about it and was imagining the drive and telling them about all the junctions- which one is the busiest one, which one is prone for traffics and we reached our office which is situated on the most beautiful location. We all get down near to the hill which is just on the entrance. Reva started running on the trail which goes to the farm side. Vishal is on the camera and my in laws are all standing there and praising the location and the office. And to my surprise Mr CEO is also taking walk on the trail and joined us asking ‘how are you and what makes you come up here’ [please don't laugh on my very optimistic dream], he meets with everyone and praises me and my department’s work [you know I send a report every Monday directly to the CEO and always wish to have reply back from him]. After meeting us he took his leave with a big smile on his face. We then headed back to our home and took a quick stop over at nearby service station.
When I was out of my dreamland, I was left with a big smile on my face which remained all through the day. Then it occurred to me why don’t I stick to this habit of dreaming all the good stuff and earn a smile a day